Monday, February 23, 2009

Not Here ...

Restlessness abound,
Not in sight one sound,
The silence is deafening,
In the alien noise sickening,
Somehow I don't belong,
In the land in which I was born,
My place is in my world,
The one I unfurled,
Life is so uncertain,
No answer many a question,

Days and nights,
Miles apart,
With what futures,
We depart ...


Comfortably Numb said...

Beautiful poetry to say the list. This is the kind of poetry which I may never be able to write :-<

Though I think that there are a few things which I may point out. Again no offense..just some lines which I though need to be corrected. Read these again and let me know :D

"In the alien noise sickening,"

"In the land in which I was born,"
^^ To the land... [maybe :P]

The rest is just about perfect. And yes...the last 4 lines are like awesome!


Adisha said...

@ comfortably numb - Truly appreciate your honest comments.
But in this case, I've taken a little artistic liberties, if you please...:)

" In the alien noise sickening " - was to explain the unfamiliarity of the sounds that One hears , and the subsequent reaction.

" In the land " Maybe " To the land - yes, and am changing that.

Thanku for bringing it to my attention ... For your kind comments, I'm glad you liked it :)


Priya said...

Yes life is uncertain coz we only hope but you never know.

Adisha said...

@ priya - what to say dear !! so true ...

अविनाश said...

excellent last 4 lines

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